Diana Mercer is a full time, professional mediator.
This is the next in an ongoing series of videos where I blog about my own efforts to walk my talk as a mediator and mend my relationship with my dad. It’s one thing to be a terrific mediator when you’re with strangers dealing with a problem you’re not living with, and quite another to apply those skills when you get home to your family.
Update: It’s Thanksgiving. I call my dad from Mexico (hello, roaming charges) to wish him Happy Thanksgiving and all he can talk about is the conflict. He wants the trust done now, he doesn’t care what I think, he thinks his lawyer is terrific (despite the fact that I’ve pointed out several huge errors in her drafting), and as a personal favor to him I’m supposed to just sign the trust and send it back.
Not on your life.
I hate that this is eating up so much of my time, patience, and brain space. But if it’s not done right, I’ll be holding the bag when my dad dies and his estate plan is all messed up. Not to mention that my brother and I would potentially be tangling with Mom 2.0’s adult son (who doesn’t work so he’d have plenty of incentive to make things difficult) or her grandkids.
But he’s yelling, pleading, cajoling, and threatening to postpone the wedding. “My happiness depends on this,” he protests. I say, “Oh, do you have to pay Mom 2.0 to marry you?” to which he responds “no” so I say, “Then your happiness does not depend on this.”
So I’m on vacation in Cabo San Lucas, maybe the most gorgeous place in the world, but I’m on the phone getting yelled at by my dad and then again by my brother (who is finally catching on that maybe I have a point) all on roaming charges. Ug.
We manage to have a great day, anyway, on our eleventy-millionth Princess cruise down the Mexican Riviera. We’re behaving like house pets, sleeping quite a bit and mostly getting up to eat, run around for awhile, then crashing out. Just like our puppies do at home.
It’s been a stressful fall, though. The cruise is so relaxing….just perfect.
But we haven’t heard the last from Project Vic yet…….! I’ll post the next update in about a week.
Diana Mercer is the co-author of Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys to Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life (Perigee 2010). Join the conversation and community on our video blog and check out Diana’s divorce blog on the Huffington Post